Surgery can suck it.

So I had my left eardrum operated on last Thursday. It had a large hole due to increased sinus pressure from a head cold back in November… yay. Technically it is better, although it doesn’t feel the best right now. I mean, the “fullness” sensation as if there is water in my ear whenever I moved my head is now gone, however, the amount of “gunk” or whatever is crusted over (sorry for too much info..) in my ear because of the surgery is kind of uncomfortable.

I am grateful the surgery went well and hope all is healing correctly (I have my follow up on Friday), but at this point I just really hope the doctor puts something in there to flush it all out.

Also, super stoked to take this damn bandage off for good. It looks like I don’t have a left ear.

That’s all for now.

-MB

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Such a small part of this life.

So often we worry so much about such little things in life, when there are far worse situations happening in this world. Last night before going to bed, I asked my husband “Hey, did you see the walk out at Notre Dame during Mike Pence’s commencement speech?” and his response was “No, but did you hear about the bombing during the Ariana Grande concert?”

We become so engrossed in petty politics, little arguments and everything else these days and they mean so little in this life. The fact that there are now 22 fatalities and 59 critically injured is so incredibly heartbreaking. They have come forth to identify 2 individuals, one being an 18 year old girl and the other an 8 year old. A suicide bomber was in Manchester, England last night where hundreds of men, women and children were minding their own business enjoying possibly their favorite artist, and out of nowhere, were struck with such tragedy. I cannot even begin to imagine the heartache, shock, fear and everything else they all must be feeling during this time.

It is so sad that we must watch everything, everywhere at all times. We  have absolutely no idea what could be around the corner. I wish we could just live our lives without the worry of a suicide bomber being in the building and/or potentially sitting next to me somewhere in the future.

Ugh. This world is such a cruel place filled with some cruel, cruel people. I pray for Manchester and the victims of that attack and I hope they find peace in this incredibly difficult time. Life is so damn precious.

LGBTQIA+ (thoughts…)

I am absolutely 110% in support of all persons within the LGBTQIA+ community, without a doubt. I just noticed something the other day one of my friends posted on Facebook. They consider themselves non-binary transgender. They prefer the pronouns They, Them, Their. I guess they consider themselves to be masculine non-binary transgender. For some reason, this kind of -ish doesn’t make sense to me..

I know there are so many genders that absolutely exist. I am not saying they don’t. I noticed this friend posted a picture of them and the caption stated “I took apart, transported and assembled this children’s playset. I am now either your new dad or your new husband. I don’t make the rules.” For some reason this hit me in an odd way, and maybe someone can explain it to me.

If someone considers themselves to be non-binary trans, can they also be masculine? This person continues to be offended when other misuse pronouns (completely understandable), however, they ALWAYS tend to ridicule and shame cis-hetero individuals. If you are striving for a world of equality of all sorts, should you truly be calling out ALL cis-het persons? I feel like that goes against everything. I understand that some people clearly purposefully misgender trans persons, which makes me want to punch them in the face, but for those who continuously work on it and accidentally slip up, give them a break. They validate you as a HUMAN BEING. You shouldn’t be ridiculing them or shaming them for this mistake. Instead, take it and using as a teaching tool. Help them out if they would like it/need the assistance or teaching.

This kind of got a little out of hand, but I just needed to put this out there.

If anyone has some answers regarding my above question:

Can a non-binary trans person consider themselves to masculine?

Please inform me.

-MB

Guidance.

One week from today. That is the deadline for the select health program seat requests. I already submitted my request about 2 weeks (I think) ago. I am so anxious about this, not really sure why, but I am.

It was kind of odd, actually, when I was completing my undergrad classes and applying to the Nursing program at my previous university, I was not quite as anxious. Really, I don’t think it was because I wasn’t excited, or I don’t know, maybe it was. But this time around, a different program, a different college, a completely different part of my life. Recently, I have just been so incredibly excited to (hopefully) start the Surgical Technology program in the Fall. I get so excited and pumped just thinking of what clinicals will be like and what procedures I could scrub in on either as a student or merely an observer, either way, I am so excited.

I just pray this is the path God is leading me towards. Although, some days I feel like that is not the way to pray to and/or with God. He knows what He is doing in my life and with my dreams, goals and aspirations.  I need not worry about my life. It is just so nerve-racking to know this may not be the path for me, I just wish there was a way I knew… but unfortunately that is not the way the Lord works.

This blog is not meant to get into my religion and/or prayers, but I just wanted to lay this out there today. I just need someone in the interwebs to pray with me.

(The deadline is May 17th and they said it could take up to 2 weeks following that to let students know if they’ve been given a seat or not).

That is all,

Happy Hump Day!

-MB

Majestic Pines

 

 

On Saturday, a friend and I explored the beauty of Kalamazoo, MI, specifically Lillian Anderson Arboretum. I had absolutely no idea this existed until about 2 weeks ago. It is so incredible.

Everyone probably knows by now that mountains are my favorite, I cannot ever get enough, but those tall pine trees were breathtaking. They lined the trail so perfectly. Accordingly, the name of the trail was Majestic Pines, because HOLY CRAP.

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5.6.17 – Lillian Anderson Arboretum (Not So Majestic Pines trail)

But in all seriousness, this trail was just as beautiful as the Majestic Pines trail. The weather was nearly perfect. 52 degrees and partly sunny.

I cannot get over how much I enjoy hiking and being outdoors. It just makes me feel so alive and so incredibly thankful to be living a healthy life and to have the ability to explore different parts of the world (mainly the U.S. lol). Someday I hope to travel, someday.

But for now, I shall embrace the goodness of Michigan and Ohio, as it has so much to offer.

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5.6.17 – Lillian Anderson Arboretum

This is what happens when you go hiking with an actual photographer (BJDC Photography) photo shoots, all the time! Hah.

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5.6.17 – Lillian Anderson Arboretum

There was no one on the trail for a good hour, so I decided to put my hammock up for a bit. This was taken when I realized it definitely needed to be raised.

5.6.17 – Lillian Anderson Arboretum (Majestic Pines trail)

One more, because.. just look at them! So gorgeous!

Ok, that’s all for today.

If anyone even reads this blog, I hope you have a wonderful week.

-MB

The wait.

I have decided on my future. Now THAT is a terrifying, but incredibly exciting statement for me. As far as my career path goes, I have decided to pursue Surgical Technology. I recently submitted all of my transcripts and (no matter how horrible) my ACT scores. I never realized how poor of a high school student I was until I looked back on my ACT scores and my transcript. But then again, that was 7+ years ago (wow, I’m old).

Anyways, I just submitted my request for a seat in the selective health program at the local community college. Recently, I have been feeling as if I would be taking a step backwards if I attended a community college, since I have a 4-year Bachelor’s degree already. But then again, if it is going to advance me and push me in right direction of my dreams, that’s not taking a step backward.

I have been watching the website like a hawk for the past couple of days waiting for the ACT scores to be submitted, and literally about 15 minutes ago they were. Pressing that submit button for the request of a seat was kind of scary.

So, with all of that said. Here goes nothing. The due date for the request is May 17, 2017. So I wait until then, possibly after that date, and then I will know if I was accepted!

Wish me luck, interweb friends!

Distance.

I’ve come to realize in the past couple of months or so the main reason why I am not fully enjoying my job is because I continue to put myself into position of my old job in Colorado. I gave my phone number to the new assistant that works with the doctor and PA I used to work with in case she has any questions related to his clinic, surgery scheduling, etc. Probably a bad idea on my behalf. Not because I have a problem helping people out, in fact, it’s the complete opposite. I love helping others and giving them advice or tips to make it through tough situations in clinic or otherwise. But it’s not my place anymore.

I need to learn to distance myself from that doctor, PA and their new clinical liaison, as difficult as it might be. I wish so much that I could work remotely for them because I know she is having a difficult time with surgery scheduling and is becoming quite overwhelmed, but again, it’s not my place anymore. I gave it up. Someone else has it now.

If I distance myself with those co-workers that will allow me to fully enjoy the work I am doing at this company, with these new co-workers and doctors. I truly enjoy working in the field orthopedics and I do enjoy my job, however, I could use a lot more work to do… which is probably why I am envious of my old doctor’s new assistant, I know she’s got a lot of work to do. Which is good.. for her. I need to focus on my job, my life in Michigan and job in Ohio. I need to stop getting involved with their clinic and the “drama” that continues to happen. It is so so difficult, but I feel like this is absolutely what I need.

It will happen.

Lately I have been going crazy over the idea of buying a house. Ever since Justin said we should “start looking”, which apparently in his mind meant just looking… But then came the constant searching on Realty websites for the perfect home, when in reality, we’ve still got several months until we can truly “start looking.” To me, I just feel like we are sitting here, doing nothing with our lives, obviously we are doing something, but everyone else is doing so much more.

So many of my previous classmates (high school and/or college) are buying homes, starting families, etc. And here we are, living paycheck to paycheck in a one bedroom apartment. Why can’t we have those same things?

Because it takes time.

Once an idea is brought to my attention, I always tend to want to rush it. Things take time, especially huge life-changing decisions. I just need to SLOW DOWN. But boy is it difficult. I need to learn to enjoy where we are at in this stage of our lives. Enjoy each other, our wonderful greyhound and the fact that we are truly happy in life.

But I still just want everything to move faster than it is for some reason.

Everything happens in its own time, I just have to take a step back and let the guy above do His work.

Westward Wilderness

I have never known such a place to offer such open arms to explore the diversity of its land. I have never felt so free and curious and exhilarated as I did there. Westward wilderness brings about a certain beauty in people, I swear. It’s a kind of beauty everyone needs to experience at least once in their lives.

I was incredibly lucky to call Denver and RMNP my home for nearly 2 years. I wish so much every day that I could pick up everything and make a home out there with Justin. But then he makes the wise decisions of our marriage in that it would be nearly impossible at this point. I absolutely enjoyed being so close to those snow capped wonders, but I am so grateful to live so close to dear family members who (eventually) will be the grandparents and great grandparents to our children.

For now, I shall call the mitten my home, maybe in the future (10-15 years) I will be able to say otherwise.

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